I have to admit…

… I used to be one of those players who would bang their stick on their ice
after missing an open net. I’d roll my eyes when someone missed a pass
that I thought she should get. I’d mutter something under my breath when
I was annoyed.

I would let my frustrations get to me on the ice.  And I didn’t think it was
having an effect on my performance. It was just “what I did”.

It wasn’t until a few weeks into my freshman season at university that I was
set straight. My college coach let me know that it was unacceptable behavior
to bang my stick, roll my eyes or show any kind of frustration on the ice.

She told me that I had to learn to play as if nothing bothered me.

Before we had this chat, everyone on the rink would not only know that I
made a mistake, but I would show them that I let it rattle me by the way I
reacted.

It was hard to break a bad habit.  I wasn’t able to stop cold-turkey.

In fact, I actually learned to how to shake off my mistakes and hold myself
accountable in the strangest of places…

… the racquetball court.

One of my teammates and I used to play racquetball as a warm-up before
off-ice workouts during the season. We didn’t have any real idea of what the
rules were or what we were doing, but we ran around like mad-women and
competed as hard as we could to win our strange version of the game.
I’m sure that people who walked by the courts when we played were wondering
why we were playing the game with full body contact.

The teammate I was playing with was a great athlete. She played for Team
Canada and was a superstar on our college team.  Being able to beat her
on the ice wasn’t exactly easy.  But I thought I had a shot at beating her
on the racquetball court.

So I decided I would try out this new technique of staying positive all the time
and not showing my frustrations in our one-on-one racquetball games.

If I hit a bad shot, I’d smile. If she made a great shot, I’d just smile. I didn’t
let anything get to me one way or the other. I just played my game and
stayed positive. I developed a great poker face.

And here’s the funny thing…

… after practicing this new habit for a few weeks, I started to win. And I
didn’t just win some of the time – I won every match.

I wasn’t a superior racquetball player and I was certainly not a superior
athlete.  But I decided that I would stay positive no matter what happened
and that ‘winning’ mindset translated directly into me winning more games.

Once I had the first-hand experience of my new attitude getting me great
performance results, all I had to do was transfer it over to the ice.

And, it worked there too.

I’d smile to myself when I missed an open net. I wouldn’t react at all when
a teammate missed a pass – other than working hard to help them fix the
mistake right then and there.  I played the game as if no mistake ever
rattled me – and it made me a significantly better player.  It was like night
and day.  All of a sudden, more pucks would go in the net, I was getting
more ice time and I was playing on special teams regularly. Don’t get me
wrong – I was still frustrated – I just never let it show.

It wasn’t easy to change my mindset and attitude on the ice. The habit
of letting my frustrations to show was hard to break. But once I made the
change, it completely transformed my on-ice performance.

And always remember to talk to yourself like you would talk to your best friend.
You wouldn’t tell your best friend that “you suck” or “you can’t do anything right”
after they made one little mistake. So you shouldn’t say that to yourself.

So if you find yourself getting frustrated out on the ice, try your best
to never let it show.  I promise that changing your mindset and developing
a great poker face will make you a better player.

Please pass this along to any friends or teammates that you think
might benefit from this message.

Work Hard. Dream BIG. Stay Positive.

Your friend and coach,

Kim

Kim McCullough, MSc, YCS
Director & Founder, Total Female Hockey
www.TotalFemaleHockey.com