Your daughter isn’t a hockey player.

She’s a person…

…who happens to play hockey.

And while hockey can become a huge part of her life, it should never become her entire identity.

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I’ve been coaching for more than 30 years, and I’ve seen this lesson play out over and over again.

The players who thrive—on the ice and long after hockey is over—are the ones who understand that hockey is something they do, not who they are.

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Unfortunately, youth sports don’t always reinforce that message.

Some players slowly stop loving the game because it starts feeling like a job.

Some become so afraid of making mistakes that they stop playing with creativity and confidence.

Others feel like every practice, every game and every tryout somehow determines their worth.

That’s a heavy burden for any young athlete to carry.

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I’ve also watched incredible players walk away from hockey completely because they were simply exhausted.

Not physically.

Emotionally.

When the pressure becomes bigger than the joy, that’s when you’ve got a really BIG problem.

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Don’t get me wrong.

I love competition.

I love chasing big dreams.

I love helping players reach the next level of OUR game.

But I never want a player’s happiness to depend on whether she makes the next team, earns a scholarship, or reaches the PWHL.

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Because the truth is that one day, competitive hockey ends for everyone.

Whether that’s at 15, 19, or after a professional career.

And when that day comes, I hope she doesn’t wonder…

“Who am I without hockey?”

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I hope she already knows.

She’s a great teammate.

A resilient young woman.

A leader.

Someone who knows how to work hard, overcome adversity, support others, and keep growing.

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Those are the things that last.

Those are the real wins.

If we can help our daughters become amazing people because they played hockey—not people who only know how to play hockey—we’ve done our job.

Let’s raise incredible people first.

The hockey player will take care of itself.

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Keep Working Hard & Dreaming BIG!

~ Coach Kim 🧡🏒

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Kim McCullough, MSc, YCS
Director, Total Female Hockey
Host, The Total Female Hockey Podcast
Creator, The Orange Machine